Today is Sunday. I participated in online Mass. Fr, Eric reminded me of my Franciscan values: welcome the stranger with hospitality and kindness. I feel downright weird pondering welcoming a stranger during this Pandemic; as I block, lock myself in my house, firmly implanted on my couch, zoned into the TV or laptop.
What am I doing to my 77 year old mind? Back to welcoming the stranger. What does that mean when I cannot even receive people I know and love? Avoidance is tempting me. I distract myself, looking at email to see if my website is accessable now. I need to look in the mirror and say, “Look at me,” like helping a four old focus.
My challenge is this: I have become too “me” focused. I order groceries to keep more food in the house. I want something tasty for me to eat whenever I feel like a mindless reach for food.
This is time to be conscious of how I feel right now . . . afraid . . . afraid of losing someone I love . . . afraid to leave my house . . . sad for losing three close friends one to cancer, one to heart condition, and one who was 95 and ready to rest in God . . . . ashamed of gaining some weight . . . thankful for all of the love and life around me: my husband of 58 years who still tells me I’m beautiful and that he loves me every day . . . three daughters . . . two sons . . . a daughter-in-law, who’s like a daughter . . . seven grandsons and four granddaughters . . . my own two sisters and their husbands . . . nieces and nephews . . . great nieces and nephews . . . 47 year BFF . . . my Franciscan Community . . . our parish St. Patrick’s Catholic Community . . , .